Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day: The Aftermath

This may come as a surprise to you, but I don't really care much for Hallmark Holidays. Mostly I am talking about Valentine's Day and Secretary's Day. Since I don't have a secretary, we'll just focus on Valentine's Day. I had the chance this year to work as a substitute teacher for 6th graders on Valentine's Day. Ugh, what a mess that was. Kids already wired on sugar and the prospect of telling their imagined crush how they feel. Then you have to wrangle them into a classroom to habla espanol. It goes without saying that telling kids to stop doing lines of Pixy Stix sugar on the table gets a bit tiring.

Then there are the pepto bismol hearts that you share with catchy phrases like "Be Mine" or "U R Cute." I think for adults doing the bar thing there should be "These Beer Goggles Really Work" or "You Might Look Like A Vulture In Daylight" or "Desperate And Easy And Full Of Crabs." Do you think we can get those onto some hearts?

Of course, you could do the heart shaped box of mystery chocolates that are probably left over from last year. Or you could go traditional and do the roses thing, along with every other guy out there (me and my son included).

Keep in mind that my first Valentine's Day as a married guy was spent moving boxes to my new apartment using a sketchy Chevy Astro Van.
The romance didn't end there. Oh no, afterwards we went to Souplantation. With my in-laws. Now, I have nothing against my in-laws, they are great people. But usually you don't think of your first Valentine's Day digging out boxes from an Astro Van and then enjoying an all-you-can eat salad buffet.
So enjoy those Valentine's Days while they are still special to you. And don't get me wrong, my wife and I always do something around Valentine's Day, but we try to avoid the hype and the craziness of that day exactly. I'll love her on my time, thank you very much.

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