We've Done It *AND* Gimme Some Swag

This humble little blog, which used to be updated nearly 5 times a week and has now gone down to once a week (so sad) has crested 3,000 page views. I think only Facebook gets more traffic than this site. Why bother using another homepage when Downward Brent Lee has all the information you could want? News? Check. Entertainment? Check. Pictures? Check. Brent Lee? Oh yeah, double check. Blog dripping in sarcasm? Yup, check that one too.

Honestly though, 3,000 views? Crazy. It helps when you steal the right pictures and use some key labels in your blog, but I don't want to give away all of my secrets.

Back to what we are here for, exciting wedding information. You've been sitting at home all week clicking refresh on this website, just hoping that there would be an update. Well, wait no longer, here you are. I got a little lazy last week as I returned from a trip to San Diego. Not that you care, so moving on again.

I hear through the grapevine that the wedding between B and Corrin (remember them?), will feature some over the top things. I don't want to spill all the beans, otherwise I won't have anything else to blog about, but I hear the party favors are B-A-N-A-N-A-S. What does that even mean? That things are bananas? What a strange thing for something else to be. "Gee, I'm a fruit that Mr. Tallyman wants to tally."

While other weddings are content leaving you with a program, or maybe food-poisoning, B and Corrin are going to be hooking us up. Unlike Oprah and her favorite things, B is going to be sharing with us some of his favorite things. Now, keep in mind that 9 out of his top ten favorite things are either alcohol or Facebook games, which leaves us with one real option: DVD copies of COPS!

Yes, you get a DVD box set, and you get a DVD box set. One lucky person will also be taking home a pair of fuzzy handcuffs (don't ask).

Enough of the tiny little bag of M&Ms, no more candy in a little dish, no personalized CD of songs from the bride and groom. Nope, we're talking DVDs of the long-running television show where 97% of those appearing on the show are on meth. Even the cops themselves. Ever wanted to see what East Las Vegas looks like? How about Compton? Maybe rural Georgia is more your speed? You'll see them all in this exciting box set of COPS (filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement).

I don't know about you, but I can hardly wait to bring my copy home, make some popcorn, put in my stadium pal and let the hours pass away.

Classy

On The Eleventh & Twelfth Day Of Christmas

[We made it to twelve!]

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Brent Lee gave to me

12 Bottles of 1997 Georges de Latour Cabernet Sauvignon

11 episodes of Cops

10 pairs of Nikes

9 kids named Carl

8 cereal boxes

7 Vegas cabana stays

6 vodka bottles

5 hot tub guests

4 ex-girlfriends

3 smashed cows

2 Chevy trucks

and a Vanilla Ice CD

What Harm Can A Bunch Of 30 Year-Olds Reliving Their High School Days Do *OR* I Hope The Nut Can Make It

In our last post we suggested the idea of the four groomsdudes getting back their old high school cars and taking them on one last roadtrip up the coast. As a recap, Paul will drive his S-10 (which got into an accident), Greg will take the old Buick Century (complete with suspension upgrades), I will take my old Camaro (the Silver Bullet won't let you down) and B will trail in the Kona Nut with all 12 hamster power.

I'll be honest, none of these cars is going to win a Concours d'Elegance or anything, but we loved those cars. I don't think we could count the hours we spent inside them or beside them trying to look cool. The cool part failed, but we had a good time. I have already told one story about the Kona Nut, so I will leave that out. I remember taking the S-10 to various functions because we could all sit in the back. And as Greg will remember, the back of that S-10 is where "Don't Wanna See No Schlong" became a big hit. With the Buick, I recall trying to the hit the very high notes in The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince's "Kiss." If you know me, I have a deep voice and it hurts getting up there. Then there is the Camaro, where to fit in the back, you had to be "flexy in the crotch." Again, we loved these cars and, gosh darnit, we were/are cool.

So the plan is to load up at La Canada High School, home of the Spartans and where all journeys should begin. There will be the obligatory mocking of the other vehicles, which I will win. My Camaro is bitchin' and everyone else should just bow down. And then Paul will want to get down to business and yell something that no one else really understands, but we will assume he means "Let's Ride" and we'll head on out. The 210 to the 134 to the 101 to the 1. Simple as that. Greg and I will race as much as we can while the Lee boys stop at every firestation they see. Paul will get on the CB radios we had installed and regale us with stories about car wrecks. Our first stop would be Morro Bay. Why? 1) Where else do you fly a kite out of a car window? 2) Free lodging. 3) Hofbrau!.

That night, while watching Cops, B will retell the story of him hitting 3 cows with a firetruck.

The next morning B and Paul will be up at 5:30am to walk along the beach while Greg and I sleep in and wait for some room service. Around 9:30 we will load up again after putting gallons of oil in the Kona Nut and the Buick (the Chevys won't have any problems yet, unless I hit a curb). Today we head up the best part of Highway 1 up to Carmel, CA and home of the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance. It is swanky and we fit right in. Carmel being the home of John Steinbeck, some great food, and the Seventeen Mile Drive.

There will have been some hills (advantage S-10), some curves (advantage modified Buick) and some need for speed (advantage Camaro). We'll just make B carry the luggage or something in the Nut. Sure, Greg and I will have made it up there about an hour before the Lee brothers, but we have heavy feet, what can I say?

Of course, the theme song for this entire journey will be the Refreshments "Banditos." Look it up- and I'll meet you at the mission at midnight.