Prepping For Carl *OR* How To Write A Blog On Little Sleep

Don't get used to the double posts in one week, I can't imagine that this will happen again. However, we here at Downward Brent Lee are working on little sleep and we wanted to experiment with what kind of crummy blog post we could write while under the influence of night. See, what does that even mean; "under the influence of night"? Stellar stuff. I hope that all the professional bloggers out there are paying attention.

The home office was a little disruptive last night, both Downward children were upset at various points of the evening. One thought that midnight would be a good time to need some attention. Then the other one thought that while you try to put her down that she would scream as if some creepy child just joined them on a Brazilian elevator.

They basically took turns seeing which parent would snap first. The joke is on them, we snapped long before they came along!

The best way to combat this lack of sleep is to just go for it. Sure, commute that 45 minutes on busy freeways in heavy fog, that seems about right. Find as many important documents you can write while at work. Better yet, find some heavy machinery to operate.

What does all of this mean for Radio (Brent & Corrin)? It means welcome to a life that is no longer your own. You will become slaves to the whims of your hungry and/or pooping children. Don't get me wrong, there are some good times, like when you get away for a weekend or the kids sleep all day, but other than that....um....yup, I've got nothing.

 

Let's see, did we accomplish what we set out to with this blog update? I doubt it and honestly, the mark of a serious blogger is the lack of passion for their project. I think we've nailed that!

And We're Back *OR* How Paul Made This Happen

Well friends, it has been about 9 months since we last posted anything here on Downward Brent Lee, and, gosh darnit, we didn't miss a thing. The home office was cleaned out and we finally got rid of the monkey problem.

We've been taking our well deserved post-wedding break. Heck, we even resisted the temptation to blog about Toni & Chris during their wedding ramp up. But we remembered that we are here for B & Corrin (or Radio as they have been coined). Oh, I could talk about the fact that this writer spent nearly two months as a single dad or how this writer now has a beautiful daughter to go along with his son, but we won't.

Enough dilly and certainly enough dally, let's get to business!

Those of you on the interwebs have probably already heard that Radio is expecting a child later this year! Congrats to Radio, we are all excited to watch our crew continue to grow. Of course, this now means that any meetings between us all must be conducted at Chuck E. Cheese's.

"Psst, hey kid, there's better food over there"

Now, I must admit that I was a bit disappointed that there are not going to be triplets right off the bat, but there is always next time. So the question becomes, do they name the child Carl, Abernathy, or Bernard? I'm still rooting for Carl, as it seems only appropriate after all the work I have done.

When word first got out, this office offered cash to Radio to not find out if it was a boy or girl, and even more cash if they promised to name it Carl. Sadly, some people could not wait 7 months to find out what they were having and they ruined the surprise. That's fine, I guess they are just so rich that they don't need the immense financial backing of Downward Brent Lee.

So thanks to Paul for cleaning up the place and taking the cobwebs off of Downward Brent Lee. It's good to be back. I can guarantee that we've all gotten fatter and lazier, so don't expect a Christmas miracle, but there will be some posts. Especially since we are headed back to Vegas. Stay tuned!

Wedding Round Up *OR* I Thought This Blog Was Dead

It turns out I just can't stop, I've missed you all so much my faithful readers. When you do something for two years, you just can let it go. Plus, enough time has passed that I can give you my exclusive insider review of the spectacle known as the Brent Lee- Corrin Clark wedding.

My little family arrived in Paso Robles on Friday afternoon so that I could partake in the rehearsal and accompanying dinner. It goes without saying that the groomsdudes nailed it on the first go and needed no further practice. Paul behaved well enough to qualify himself for dinner, which is all he really cared about.

You may ask yourself why I was wearing a necklace. I am now asking that question too. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Since we all behaved well enough we went to dinner. The waitstaff seemed a bit perplexed with the idea of taking drink orders as random beverages appeared at various times in sundry locations. You never really knew what you were going to get. Food was served and people ate. My son was happy that there was bread.

 After dinner I have no idea where the bridesmaids went, and I am pretty sure I don't want to know. Especially since I think some "special" brownies were involved. The gents retired up to Paul's balcony and sat in the hot tub.

We're always a bundle of energy. We basically just told B that he was pretty hosed since he was getting married. Typical "scare-the-crap-out-of-the-groom-the-night-before-the-wedding" shtick. Oh and it started raining. A lot. And it was freaking cold. This outdoor wedding thing just wasn't going to happen.

The next morning brought about a lot of crummy weather. Greg and I ended up running some errands in B's truck and even went to his house. The temptation to mess up the house was great. We may or may not have done anything to the house. Antoinette would not believe us either way.

While the bridesmaids spent the entire day getting ready, the guys got ready in about 15 minutes. And then we looked like this:

Corrin told us we were not to look directly at anything, hence us looking off into the distance. Oh, and hey, remember when I told you that I had some things to spruce up our otherwise boring tuxedos? Can you say green socks? Oh yeah!

It was St. Patrick's day and it just made sense. You will also note that someone is not wearing the same type of shoes as everyone else. Paul deemed himself too precious to wear the other shoes. Thanks a lot Paul.

The wedding ended up indoors due to the rain.

Oh, I suppose I should talk about the bride and her gown. But, since I am a guy, I can't really tell you all that much. She looked lovely and seemed excited to marry B. Well, as excited as anyone would be to marry B. Sorry, that was kind of mean.

And then the reception hit and we were ready.

Yup, just four married guys hanging out in a hotel ballroom lobby while wearing tuxedos. Not married to each other mind you. Married to women. Different women. Ah, nevermind.

People were introduced. Food was eaten. People gave toasts. I introduced the newest iPhone. Oh wait, I gave a toast and yes, I did mention Vanilla Ice!

Paul sang a soul song and really got into it.

Greg, on the other hand, didn't say a word, just simply struck modeling poses. It was very effective.

And then there was dancing. Did I mention we didn't stop at the socks? Yup, there were headbands too. Don't say we don't know how to party, or accessorize.

What was weird is that B spent most of his time not dancing with his bride, but with this guy.

Not the cutest couple, but to each their own.

And sure, there were traditions. But I think they forgot other people were watching.

I did learn that Corrin knows how to boogie!

And she is a good sport. After the evening was essentially over, some of us retired back to Paul's room.

Be careful, or you might face the world's least intimidating gang.

All in all, a great time was had by all. Everything was well done and everyone had a great time celebrating B & Corrin. Congrats to the two of you.

Ok, now seriously, that is it. The blog is over. I'm done. This is unless, of course, we end up in Vegas in January. But don't hold your breath.

Home Stretch *OR* Best Wedding Gift Ever

We're just over a week away until B and Corrin finally get married and I get to put this poor blog to bed. I think we can all breath a sigh of relief over that one. But hey, over 7,000 page views and multiple references to Vanilla Ice later, I think we've created something that will stand the test of time. This is, of course, assuming that time only lasts about 3 more weeks.

I teased in the last post about the awesome wedding gift I got for B and Corrin. Thanks to some mix up with the Postal Service (and you wonder why they are bankrupt), the original never got there. So an online chat with Amazon.com later and a delivery via UPS, I can now finally reveal the best wedding present ever. I know you think that you can top it by searching for something of their registry, but you would be wrong. I have given B the gift that will simply keep on giving. He even said we could have it at the wedding. Yes, I got a copy of Vanilla Ice's movie "Cool As Ice."

Note how it says he is starring in his first motion picture. Did he make another? Oh, and no, I did not get the VHS, I got the re-release on DVD. I have shared this scene of the blog before, but it can stand a repeat.



This is solid all around. As far as I can tell there is a lot of staring off and talking to one's self while riding a motorcycle. I am sure that B will fill us in as time goes on.

In other news, I have picked up my tuxedo already. I don't want to spoil all the details since I will be looking *so fresh and so fine*, but there is some green in it.

And yes, while in a tuxedo, I do make that face and strike that pose all the time. Aren't you all lucky to be there to witness that? I did note that the tuxedo came with pants that were not my jeans. B, am I really supposed to wear some other guy's pants? Ugh.

Just a week left! Let's get this show on the road, I'm a busy man. Actually, this is oddly true, but I won't bore you with the details. I will be hearing some Vanilla Ice at the wedding, right? Otherwise, he is going to upset that he came out to the wedding and didn't hear any of his songs. Drat, I think I just ruined the surprise.

The Odds Are In Your Favor *OR* You Can Count On It

It has been established that we are joining B in Las Vegas for his bachelor party. I'm sure you have some very distinct images of a bachelor party in Vegas. A little gambling, some drinking, a lot of saying "THIS GUY....THIS GUY HERE.....HE'S MY BEST FRIEND...AND I'LL FIGHT YOU ABOUT IT," maybe a strip club, and something to do with Mike Tyson.

This may or may not hold true for B's party. I guess some of us will just have to wait and see.

What is Vegas without some gambling? Sure, you could be a sucker and hit the tables or bet on the ponies. Me, I think I will bet on my friends. I've only known these guys for 20 years. I can predict their behavior and everything. So here is a list of things that will be happening while we are in Vegas. Granted, most of this could happen if we were in Branson or Duarte.

• Paul will wander off from the group [probably at least once a day].
• B will wake up before 8:00am and immediately want to eat.
• B & Paul will walk the Vegas strip before 8:30am, but not because they stayed up all night.
• Greg and I will sleep in until at least 9:30am. But not because we stayed up all night.
• I will complain about something at least once a day. Most likely the smoke in the Vegas.
• Red meat will be consumed. We will all regret it later that night. Pepcid, Tums, or GasX will be taken.
• B & Paul will turn their head at every siren they hear.
• Greg will examine the little flyers handed out in the street. Not because of what they advertise, but because of the type of paper and printing technique.
• I will flick Paul in the chest.
• B will regale us with stories about where he has taken Corrin. We will tune it out.
• We will all remember the time we went in the gliders and made loop after loop after loop.
• Greg and I will go the Ferrari dealership.
• B will be bringing a grip of singles to Thunder From Down Under and walk away empty handed and embarrassed. 
• We will meet a celebrity chef. I will talk about Top Chef with them.

Now, you can make your own bingo card and play along at home. Maybe I will tweet when these things happen. Feel free to make your own spaces and add your own speculations.

Don't forget, you'll have another opportunity to play bingo at the wedding. Just search this blog for it.

Turn It Up, It's Freedom Rock *OR* I Remember This Song, It Stinks!

Greetings from 2012. I'll bet your New Year's resolution was to read this blog more often and maybe even contribute an article. Let's make that happen, shall we?

With 2012 here we are in the wedding year of B and Corrin (also known as Radio). It's finally here and in a few short months I can abandon this blog and send it to the graveyard or have a funeral pyre.

You bring the marshmallows and I'll bring the gasoline.

Also with 2012 comes B's bachelor party. We've teased a bunch about activities and locations for this little event (keyword: little). As B knows, since he is making the reservations, we are headed off to Loss Vay Gus (that's Las Vegas to those outside of the know). Yes, Sin City. What better place for a Mormon guy like myself than a city that prides itself on sin and doing things that I can't do? Can you believe I've gone this entire blog without mentioning the Mormon thing? I can.

In anticipation of this event, I put together a little CD for B and the other groomsdudes and sent it off. This has all of your party rock favorites, some classics from our earlier days, and a few songs about Loss Vay Gus. It is such a good mix that I have good news for Radio: you don't need a DJ. Just put this CD on (or use the playlist) and let the evening roll on. It's got such hits as "Viva Las Vegas" from Elvis.



Oh sure, this isn't the Elvis version, but this may be better.

And then for the entrepanuer in all of us, there's the Reverend Horton Heat's "Bales Of Cocaine."



Classic song. Then there is a song that Greg and I used to try to sing, but I can't hit those high notes at all: Prince's "Kiss."


(I don't want to get sued by the sign formally known as Prince)

And then what Brent Lee event would be complete without some Vanilla Ice? It would be nothing, that's what. So of course, we had to include:



By the way, you know you're a badass when you spraypaint in neon colors.

Now that there is a soundtrack for our trip, we need to find some things to do. Sadly, I can't tell you now because it would spoil the surprise for B. I can give you two hints:
1. It start's with "T"
2. It rhymes with "Blunder from Down Under"

With a soundtrack like that, four guys like us, and a chance of seeing some of Australia's finest export it is sure to be an unforgettable weekend. Sorry B.

Last Post Of 2011 *OR* Why Change When I'm Perfect?

You didn't think I could let 2011 slip by without one more blog post, did you? I know that this blog has gone from multiple postings in a week to maybe 2 a month, but such is the life of a lonely blogger. I bet you can picture it now, surrounded by empty bags of potato chips listening to endless dance music in a poorly lit room surrounded by banks of computers and researchers bringing me facts and Red Bull.

Luckily for everyone, you would be wrong. I have a tiny alcove in a living room and I drink water. So there!

With the end of 2011, it comes time to make resolutions for the new year. Ways in which we can improve ourselves and not repeat the failures of past years. Yet, as I look back I realize that I'm perfect. I have been groomed well (in both senses of the word), I'm an intelligent fellow, I can use the word fellow without it seeming pompous, and there is nothing about me that needs changing. Full of myself you ask? Nope, just confident that I do not need to change.

Since I don't need any modification, let's move on to the happy couple, shall we? And as we all know that women know everything and don't need to change (um, yeah....), let's focus on B. So here is a list of resolutions that I have compiled for B for 2012.

• Stop licking envelopes for fun. The danger of a papercut is simply too much.
• Be sure to send more cash to my groomsdudes. $250/week should do it.
• Learn to embrace the idea that dinner does not need to be eaten at 4:30pm. 
• Triplets! B is going to father triplets in 2012. Need I remind you of their names? Abernathy, Bernard, and Carl.
• Help Vanilla Ice reclaim his star status. Encourage him to get a morning talk show. Show the happy side of Mr. Ice.
• Stop being afraid of cities larger than 5,000 people. Los Angeles is a fine place to visit.
• Let the subscription to Oprah's magazine not get renewed. Move on to Rachel Ray.
• Stop crying at the end of "Wall-E."
• Eat more shrimp.
• Wear more Ed Hardy.
• Dance like no one is watching. But know that we are.
• Grow a cool firefighter/80's porn star mustache.
• Start calling Corrin by her pet name: "Batgirl."
• Did he write those checks to his groomsdudes yet? A wire transfer will be fine.
• Listen to a little less Celine Dion and move on to Enya or John Tesh.

This is a good start for 2011. There may be more, but at the rate I blog, I doubt it. See you in 78 days!

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another *OR* Prank My House, Please

Hi there, long time, no blog. Not that you care. Will this wedding ever get here, I am really running dry on topics for this blog.

In speaking with B the other week, he mentioned that I might be able to hang at his house after the wedding. I am sure the dear followers of the blog know what kind of a mistake that invitation was. I made no commitment to the idea yet, but I really had to bite my tongue and not say anything. I didn't want to get into some binding legal agreement. Granted, B did say that I could only stay there if I promised to not do anything to the house. Now really, where is the fun in that? I know we have covered some ideas before, but I think I can go another step forward. So what other pranks can we pull on B & Corrin's (Radio) house when they are away on their honeymoon? Glad you asked.

Sure, we could go traditional and do the Jell-O in the bathtub, but it seems so played out. So how about a bathtub of Cheetos?

This would be horrible for me, as I don't like Cheetos at all.

And yes, you could move all the furniture around, but how about you put it on the ceiling? I think I would have to rent a nail gun for this, which makes it all the more fun.

Speaking of fun, what kid hasn't wished that their house was a castle? And what castle is complete without a moat? That's right, no castle worth it's salt doesn't have a moat! This is great, because I get to rent a backhoe with this one.

Maybe I'm thinking too small. I've always liked Radio's house, but wished it was just somewhere else. Let's just move the entire thing to Currie, NV. It shouldn't take that long.

Too big? Let's scale back and just wrap the house in a fumigation tent but use a lot of glue. This way we keep the house safe and insulated for their return.

My guess is that they won't be driving to their honeymoon destination, so both cars might be there. Hmmm, I wonder how many Geo Metros I could get for their cars?

Who wouldn't want a fleet of practical, fuel efficient cars? I am sure that B wouldn't be laughed out of the fire house on that one.

Which one will I do? Who says it will only be one? Check back in late March and I'll give you the lowdown on what happened.

Rules, We Don't Need No Stinkin' Rules *OR* Put Down That Phone

In my continuing quest to bring you the 223rd best blog on the internet, I am always doing research. I crash some weddings, I host some wedding showers, I shop for tuxedos, and I go to the epicenter of the relationship between B and Corrin. That's right, I go to Morro Bay, home of not one, not two, but three stacks and one rock.

 I spoke with one of the other groomsdudes and B's brother, Paul. Of course the conversation steered itself toward our vacation. Collectively, the groomsdudes, who are all married and have children, simply need a vacation. If B wants to come along we can call it a bachelor party. If B does decide to join, we have all agreed that there must be some ground rules for our time wherever we go. So B, pay attention, stop watching reruns of 90210 and take some notes here.

• Married guys get as much phone time as they like. You, however, get 20 minutes per day, to be decided upon by the groomsdudes. You might get all 20 minutes at one time, you might only get about 30 seconds. You never know, but we'll let you know when you can use your phone. Otherwise your phone must be surrendered to a groomsdude.
• Your wardrobe will be chosen by the groomsdudes. You will wear what has been chosen. Don't bother packing any clothes, we have you covered...literally.
• Bring your wallet. There is a good chance you will be footing the bill for everything.
• Should Greg and I have our way, you will only be eating condiments and packets of saltines at all meals.
• There is a good chance you will be going to an all-male revue of some sort. You will go. You will not say anything. Otherwise, you will become part of the all-male revue.
• You will take all abuse, verbal and physical, with a smile. We may taunt you quite a bit about running into cows. Just smile.
• Should we allow you to drink alcohol, Jave gets to choose it. Remember it has been 10 years since he had a drink and he isn't so familiar with what is good anymore. Enjoy your watered down generic beer.

• You might be sleeping in a bathtub. Deal with it. If you don't complain, we will give you a pillow.
• At any time you may be asked to do either the Roger Rabbit or the Running Man. You will comply.
• Karaoke bars will be open. Just keep that in mind.
• Wherever we end up, it is a long walk back to Morro Bay. Wear some comfortable shoes.
• Your music selections will be between Marcy Playground and Kris Kross. Choose wisely.

Failure to adhere to any of these rules will result in sheer mayhem during the wedding. And guess who you would have to answer to for that. If you guessed Corrin, you would be correct. The rules have been laid out, it is now in your hands. Remember, anything else would be "wiggidity, wiggidity, wiggidity, wack!"

We Have Contact! *OR* Spend More Money On Me

Gather around folks, it's true story time. This week's episode is brought to you by the movie From Justin To Kelly.

Moving on, Brent Lee himself called me this past week. Sure, this may not sound like much to you, but considering he never calls and hardly sends a text or an email, this was a big break-through. You might think we only talked about horsepower and chicks, but it turns out that B does not really care much for horsepower. Therefore, we can assume he has never seen Top Gear and is about to lose his man-card.

 

Anyways, he informs me that I should think about making reservations at some hotel where they think they are having the wedding. I guess he hasn't been reading the blog, because I think we have opened up some alternative locations. Yes, you better hurry and make your reservations for a hotel nearly 6 months in advance to beat the St. Patrick's Day rush. Hey, I haven't even received the official invitation yet and you want me to make reservations? And wait, why am I paying to stay in some hotel to come to your wedding? Isn't that your responsibility? When I invite someone to my home for dinner, I don't make them bring dinner. Something must change here.

If that isn't enough, I am now informed that some guy with a pretty good beard has got to measure me for a tuxedo. 

 Again, I thought that we had explored some other options that were quite a bit more comfortable than wearing a tie, vest, coat, and someone else's shoes. And here comes the kicker, B wants me to pay for that too! Wait just a minute here, are you saying that none of my suits are good enough for you? I look pretty darn good in them and I have a wide variety of ties to choose from. This is all quite tragic.

Yes, the conversation turned elsewhere and we caught up on some things and discussed his Halloween costume, which I did not know was going to be shiny. 

I would not trust that man to pilot my red wagon, let alone an airplane. Did you know he once hit about 12 cows while driving a firetruck? Yup, this is your state money here folks.

Here's to waiting to hear from B until February when the groomsdudes go on a vacation and we see if B decides to tag along and call it his "bachelor party."

Skip The Toast, More Wilco! *OR* What Has The Stig Done For Me Lately?

You've waiting patiently and here we go, a new blog entry today. Of course, the problem becomes what on earth to write about?

Some of the Lee clan was down in the civilized world this past weekend to associate with their friends and of course the topic turned to the wedding. I asked Paul about his speech, to see if he had any ideas, because I don't want to trample on his speech with my own. Greg was interested as well, because we all need to be unique. Of course, this will be difficult when we are each trying to fill in our allotted toast time of 40 minutes or so. I was thinking I may put together a multimedia presentation.

I hope there is a big enough room for a screen this size. I've got some great pictures that will look amazing at 40' wide. I guess the issue now is what to talk about. I assume that Paul will actually talk about B and Corrin, so there is no need to rehash that old subject. Greg could talk about a variety of things, but I really hope he presents his "Top Gear" thesis.

I think I may try to cover the career of alternative rock darlings, Wilco.

I am pretty sure the folks at the wedding will appreciated being enlightened about some of the more important aspects of the art culture in the modern day.

Too often we get a bit too involved in the bride and groom at the wedding. Life still goes on and they need to learn it is not always about them. You can have your few moments, but let's talk about some of the bigger things in life, shall we? And darnit, you are going to sit there for the entire time that each of us is speaking and you are going to take notes. You will be turning in those notes at the end of the wedding and be graded.

So sit back, relax, enjoy the presentations and don't worry, the beef won't get that cold.

My Super Sweet Wedding *OR* Is That Local Music Sensation Vanilla Ice?

I know I am bit behind the times on this one, I mean, this show was on at least a year and a half ago, but I assume you have seen or at least heard of the MTV program "My Super Sweet Sixteen." Granted, we could argue the actual benefits of MTV playing music videos, but this isn't Rolling Stone (another of a dying breed?). I will just say that I do remember them playing videos, so much that my dad enjoyed watching it and couldn't wait to see a Thomas Dolby video.



But the point here is that these teens felt the need to throw these oddly lavish parties and show their "friends" how spoiled they were and how they could complain that daddy only bought them the base model Aston Martin and not the one James Bond drives.

But my favorite part is how everyone lines up and guesses about who the big performer at the party is going to be. Maybe it will be Jay-Z, maybe it's Green Day, maybe it's Tony Orlando. And then of course, the performer is announced and it is some third-rate rapper with a mix-tape who lives in his mother's basement and has made some gold chains with a bunch of spray paint.

B and Corrin can do better. They can get some A-level entertainment from beyond the Central Coast of California. I think we need to start talking to our hero over here at Downward Brent Lee, Vanilla Ice!

We might even be able to get a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but I hear their schedules are pretty busy with kid's birthday parties.



If this is all it takes to be a back-up dancer, I think I have found a new career!

Yes, I think we need some big name entertainment at this wedding, something to really make it stand out. Since I assume that no one's daddy is going to buying them a new BMW, this is the next best thing. I'll have the home office here give Mr. Ice a call. You can thank me later. "Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!"

It's Cool, She's With Me *OR* Don't Be A Loser, Bring A Date

Are you aware there are 175 days left until I get to stop blogging, oh, and 'till B and Corrin (or Radio, as I have named them) are wedded? Some may be nervous about this, but boy am I excited about the prospect of letting this poor blog whiter away and die a glorious death. Can you burn a blog in a bonfire?

Moving on, for those of you who may be single, you might be dreading going off to a wedding to see your friends tie the knot and begin a life of quiet solitude and wishing they had really thought more about this whole marriage thing (kidding here folks, calm down). Let's be honest though, you are mostly dreading having to go to another wedding by yourself. Sure, no one to talk to, no one to gossip to about the bridesmaids selection of jewelry, no one to clink glasses with- it's really quite sad. As always, I am here to help and I have a few suggestions.

1. Quit cryin' chump!
2. Find another stag friend and take them. Make cute chitter-chatter the entire night.
3. Hurry up and find someone to date online.
4. Russian bride!
Or, my favorite idea...
5. Craigslist!

Yes, the home to free furniture, random tutoring jobs, and a way to find those lost connections is a great way to find a date. Now, I've never used the personals section of Craigslist, so let's try this together, shall we? And I am only doing this for research purposes for you, I will be taking my lovely wife to the wedding. Ok, so I am on the Craigslist for SLO, just to get into the mood. But again, for science I will click on "women seeking men" and....whoa...there are a lot of warnings here. Don't get AIDS, this person could kill you, well, that bodes confidence. Alright, I will take the risk, moving on...and this is the first ad I see:

I gotta sweet tooth...

---

Date: 2011-09-22, 2:18PM PDT
Reply to:

---

for chocolate! Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, caramel, mocha, honey, brown sugar, maple syrup.....you get the idea be at least aged 25, thick and rich (not money rich) and creamy :)
Im over 25, smooth, creamy french vanilla :) email me. I am serious! I love chocolate and need a fix! its hard to find around here :( 

Yikes!  BACK BACK BACK. This is just a bit too scary for me. Thank goodness I am already married. I have no idea what this woman is talking about. Is she one of those chocolate Easter bunnies? If so, how does she type? She doesn't have fingers! And what kind of rich is not money rich? I don't get this at all. Ok, nevermind here folks. Skip Craigslist, you're better off hanging out at the grocery store and just looking desperate.

I'm In *AND* I'm Feeling Slighted

I'm in! I received my save-the-date magnet, no going back now. They had their chance to not invite me, but they blew it. SUCKERS! Now I will be there in all my blogging glory, hogging the limelight and embarrassing B at every turn. I've made it to the most exclusive party of the spring. Sorry Puff Daddy.

However, I will admit I am bit sad. Sure, I was invited. Sure, I got the commemorative magnet. Sure, I have to stand somewhere during the ceremony. But my poor little blog is conspicuously missing from the save-the-date. Yes, their little wedding website is listed, but there is no mention of this blog. I've worked long and hard on this thing and this is the thanks I get? After 109 posts (in less than a year, mind you) and over 4,000 page views and 28 mentions of Vanilla Ice, this life-altering blog gets no mention. It hurts. You put your heart and soul into something and this is the way you are repaid? There had better be a bunch of filet mignon for me when I get to that wedding.

Do you know what hurts the most? They didn't use my pictures! How could you not use these? They really give you a sense of the love between B and Corrin. It also frames their youth and innocence. A big loss if you ask me.

Luckily for them, I am a big man. I'll get over it somehow. I'll be there in my groomsdude ensemble trying not to outshine everyone else there. I guess just being invited is a triumph unto itself.