We've Made It *OR* How Paul Has Trouble Discerning Age

It has been a few days on the road trip where our little group of four have taken the cars we had in high school from Los Angeles to Vancouver. See previous posts for a recap of the drivers and their cars, or just trust that I was the coolest guy in the best car. I can prove it...

Yep, it takes real skill to lean against your car at age 17 like that. Did I really buy that car wearing a t-shirt? Nice work.

But what says Bachelor Party like a couple day road trip to a city that most of us went to while in college? I enjoy Vancouver, Canada for a variety of reasons.
1) Not that I do them, but drugs are plentiful. The really just solicit on the streets. Way to stay classy Vancouver.
2) According to Paul, young girls just don't look that young. To his credit, he only mentioned it in passing.
3) The phone calls you get at the hotel asking if you would like "entertainment" at 1:00am are welcoming.
4) When I drank, they had good beer.
5) Bus lane? Nope, a slalom course for our taxi that had no interior panels.

What more could 4 guys in their 30s want than a cultural melting pot? I'll answer that one for you, the guys that have kids would want a quiet nap.

But for B's sake we'll do something interesting. Like snowmobiling and eating hot dogs in a secluded cabin (long story there). Or use the word "eh" a lot when finishing sentences. Sounds like fun, eh?

In all honesty, this would be a fun trip, especially if we could find some of our old cars and rent them for a week. Top Gear, are you listening?

Load 'Em Up *OR* Please Sir, Can You Give Me A Lift?

Our little motley crew has made it to Carmel in our cars from high school. Just as a recap:
Paul is driving a Chevy S-10
Greg is driving a late 80's Buick Century
I am driving a 96 Chevy Camaro
And B is in the Kona Nut, a car that needs no explaination

It is time to depart and make our way toward our final destination of Vancouver, Canada via Oregon and Washington. While we have only been at this trip for a grand total of over 2 days, some old habits are creeping back in. It is like we are all 17 years old again. This has some benefits and some downfalls. We are not the most mature bunch, though we think we are. And B is wearing that darn Vanilla Ice shirt again. Won't that thing die?

Honestly, we're a bit embarrassed to be around him, so we jet off in our cars and let the Kona Nut fall behind. This is pretty typical. Don't ever ask B to lead a caravan, you might make it the year after you planned.

We cross the Golden Gate Bridge wishing we were driving these cars...

...instead of the moderately reasonable cars we are in. But then we remember, we are reliving some high school days, let's do something stupid and reckless. At that moment, I grab my emergency brake and yank it high to the ceiling and do a bitchin' 360 degree spin on the bridge. Paul and B yell at me for causing a potential problem while Greg tries to emulate by smashing down on his e-brake and pulling the same stunt. Greg and I are obviously enjoying this much more than the safety oriented Lee brothers.

It is near Eureka that we start to have some trouble. We've gone through about 4 barrels of oil just trying to keep these things on the road.

It is getting time. B calls in a favor and has another truck join the convey. Sadly, it isn't all that cool, but it might be needed just to make it to Oregon.

The fifteen flats of water than B and Paul are carrying in the backs of their vehicles are starting to weigh them down. I am getting tired of the same 6 CDs in my changer and Greg is starting to tire of the blue suede interior of the Buick. Yet, it is our inability to admit defeat to each other that keeps us going. We loved these cars, how could they let us down?

And then it dawns on us, we loved these cars because they meant freedom. We could go nearly anywhere. We could pick up chicks. We could go read magazines at the grocery store at 11:00pm. We could pile 10 people in them and go to a dance. These cars meant everything.

So we kept on, toward Canada.

Ice, Ice Baby...Too Cold

Look playa- finally we aren't really talking about Vanilla Ice, I just want his tags to increase on this blog. Like Carl!

Today we're thinking about an ice wedding. Plenty of weddings have had an ice carving to place on the food table, it just brings some elegance. But why? It is a giant hunk of frozen water that has been hacked together by chainsaws and ice picks, nothing elegant about the process.

But as Emeril Lagasse used to say (maybe he still does), "Let's kick it up a notch." Let's do a full ice wedding! Gives new meaning to the term "cold shoulder" ::pause for laugh:: Oooookay. There is a fairly famous ice hotel in Sweden, but I think that is going to be a bit much for some our guests. So north toward Canada it is! Home of state sponsored health care where you only need to wait for 6 months to see a doctor about your cold. Home of 14 year old on the street that (according to Paul) look much older. Home of people very obviously asking if you would like to purchase marijuana "Weed, weed, weed!" Off to Quebec, home of the Canadian Ice Hotel and some French-speaking wine-swilling cheese-heads. Not rednecky at all (YES! I got to use rednecky again!). The Hotel de Glace offers some lovely accommodations and they seem to have a chapel.

It will be up to you to warm yourself up at night while sleeping on a bear-skin on top of blocks of ice. Who doesn't want to stay somewhere where you have to wear a hat at night to keep somewhat warm? Nothing says romantic wedding night like separate sleeping bags (can't make Carl that way).

For $599 Canadian (which I think is like $10,000,000 US), you can have the following as part of the Romance Package:

• A theme suite at the Hôtel de Glace including the Nordic sleeping bag for the night
• A suite with fireplace at Four Points by Sheraton Québec on the same night as your stay at the Hôtel de Glace (luggage, shower, etc.)
• A sparkling ice cider cocktail served in an ice flute
• A gourmet dinner served in the comfort of your suite at Four Points by Sheraton Québec
• A personal valet
• Delicious chocolates await you at the Hôtel de Glace suite after dinner
• Access to the Nordic area's hot tubs and sauna under the stars
• Breakfast at Le Dijon
• Welcome kit
• All gratuities

Does this seem odd that there is so much happening at the Four Points as well? They don't really want you to stay at the Hotel de Glace, do they?

Let's pack up the long johns, break out the fur-lined underwear and leave the sandals at home. We've got a wedding to get to, in Quebec!