The Odds Are In Your Favor *OR* You Can Count On It

It has been established that we are joining B in Las Vegas for his bachelor party. I'm sure you have some very distinct images of a bachelor party in Vegas. A little gambling, some drinking, a lot of saying "THIS GUY....THIS GUY HERE.....HE'S MY BEST FRIEND...AND I'LL FIGHT YOU ABOUT IT," maybe a strip club, and something to do with Mike Tyson.

This may or may not hold true for B's party. I guess some of us will just have to wait and see.

What is Vegas without some gambling? Sure, you could be a sucker and hit the tables or bet on the ponies. Me, I think I will bet on my friends. I've only known these guys for 20 years. I can predict their behavior and everything. So here is a list of things that will be happening while we are in Vegas. Granted, most of this could happen if we were in Branson or Duarte.

• Paul will wander off from the group [probably at least once a day].
• B will wake up before 8:00am and immediately want to eat.
• B & Paul will walk the Vegas strip before 8:30am, but not because they stayed up all night.
• Greg and I will sleep in until at least 9:30am. But not because we stayed up all night.
• I will complain about something at least once a day. Most likely the smoke in the Vegas.
• Red meat will be consumed. We will all regret it later that night. Pepcid, Tums, or GasX will be taken.
• B & Paul will turn their head at every siren they hear.
• Greg will examine the little flyers handed out in the street. Not because of what they advertise, but because of the type of paper and printing technique.
• I will flick Paul in the chest.
• B will regale us with stories about where he has taken Corrin. We will tune it out.
• We will all remember the time we went in the gliders and made loop after loop after loop.
• Greg and I will go the Ferrari dealership.
• B will be bringing a grip of singles to Thunder From Down Under and walk away empty handed and embarrassed. 
• We will meet a celebrity chef. I will talk about Top Chef with them.

Now, you can make your own bingo card and play along at home. Maybe I will tweet when these things happen. Feel free to make your own spaces and add your own speculations.

Don't forget, you'll have another opportunity to play bingo at the wedding. Just search this blog for it.

Fly Me To The Moon *OR* Just Fly Me To Branson!

I had the pleasure of speaking with B the other night and I asked him how the wedding planning was coming along. He mentioned how helpful this blog has been in thinking of ideas. Though he did say it crossed off more ideas than it actually gave him. So I thought about it the other day and have come up with a great solution to encapsulate the bachelor party/ wedding/ and honeymoon all-in-one. Now, we have two options here and they both involve travel in a cool way.

1. The Goodyear Blimp!

Now, I have actually been on the Goodyear Blimp (the Spirit of America if you are keeping score) and it was awesome. There isn't a ton of room in the gondola, but the stories you will be able to tell. I suggest that we take the blimp to Branson, Missouri. Why Branson? It is the entertainment capital of the Southern states. In fact, while visiting the website I see that they have an ice carver at a museum with an exhibit on the Titanic. Either they have a great sense of humor, or they are missing the whole historical context thing. Shame on you Branson!

The blimp is not the fastest mode of transport out there, but it would still beat B in the Tahoe (Get it? Because B drives slowly!). It gives you time to see all of America from a somewhat lower altitude. And who doesn't love the blimp?

Back to Branson, they feature some of America's top talent. Here is a small list of the calvacade of stars you can see right now in Missouri:
Tony Orlando
The Village People
Tim Conway
Yakov
Andy Williams
Oak Ridge Boys

It's like a who's who of Hollwood Squares participants.

Option #2: Airbus A380

The newly famous double decker is larger than a 747 by quite a bit. Of course, recently the engines have been falling off of the airplane, but I doubt that will affect us much. B will charter the entire plane and we'll just fly all over the place and combine the bachelor(ette) party, wedding, and honeymoon in one trip. As a bonus, the TSA will grope you for free.



The TSA: Your New Prostate Doctor!

 You can eat all the peanuts you want on your way to Branson, MO, have your luggage lost, and watch an engine fall off your plane. All right B, pony up the bucks and let's make this happen.