400 Visitors? Who Knew 400 People Would Want To Read Garbage? I Guess That Is How They Sell "People" Magazine.

We have crested 400 visitors to Downward Brent Lee! This is quite the accomplishment. This means one of two things:
1. You really like B and Corrin
2. You find me hilarious

For obvious reasons, mostly due to my ego, we are going with choice #2. Yes, I am funny (looking). Sure, my dry wit may turn people away and my sarcasm may keep them away. However, it seems as though there are a choice few who enjoy this kind of abuse. Come to think of it, this must be why B and I have been friends for 18 or so years. He is a glutton for punishment, luckily Corrin is here to coddle him. (Anyone just notice I was able to use "glutton" and "coddle" in the same sentence?)

I apologize for the lazy posting the last two days, time has been a bit short as I am playing Mr. Mom again. Let me tell you, I look darn good in a house dress.

How to make up for lazy posting and 400 visitors? Let's give you a new post with a fresh idea. Granted, the fresh idea comes from our longtime collaborator, Greg Kathol. I've known Greg for 18 or so years as well and have learned....um....learned how to....hmmm....errrr......grilling technique. Sure, that's it. To return the favor, I will plug the Kathol website: www.pinewoodderbycars.com . This is your one stop shop for pinewood derby cars. You know what, let's just save his idea for tomorrow, I think I just came up with an idea.

Question: How can we get people together at a wedding and get past all the dull kissing and cake cutting than by engaging guests in a race? Answer: BY STAGING A PINEWOOD DERBY!

It is so simple. Mail out kits (from www.pinewoodderbycars.com) with the invitations. Encourage guests to create their own cars and be ready to weigh and race at the reception. Mine would be awesome. I would name it Carl and it would not be rednecky. It might be inspired by Vanilla Ice, it might not be. I want to surprise all of you at the wedding and crush you with my superior abilities to launch a piece of wood on wheels down a track. We could all do some side bets and make some money too. I don't know why this idea hasn't caught on yet.

Ok, I think I may have redeemed myself. Tomorrow we tackle Greg's idea. Thanks to everyone for reading, I really appreciate it. It just makes my ego bigger, but it wasn't big to start with.

Keep clicking on those links and making me rich!

Ice, Ice Baby...Too Cold

Look playa- finally we aren't really talking about Vanilla Ice, I just want his tags to increase on this blog. Like Carl!

Today we're thinking about an ice wedding. Plenty of weddings have had an ice carving to place on the food table, it just brings some elegance. But why? It is a giant hunk of frozen water that has been hacked together by chainsaws and ice picks, nothing elegant about the process.

But as Emeril Lagasse used to say (maybe he still does), "Let's kick it up a notch." Let's do a full ice wedding! Gives new meaning to the term "cold shoulder" ::pause for laugh:: Oooookay. There is a fairly famous ice hotel in Sweden, but I think that is going to be a bit much for some our guests. So north toward Canada it is! Home of state sponsored health care where you only need to wait for 6 months to see a doctor about your cold. Home of 14 year old on the street that (according to Paul) look much older. Home of people very obviously asking if you would like to purchase marijuana "Weed, weed, weed!" Off to Quebec, home of the Canadian Ice Hotel and some French-speaking wine-swilling cheese-heads. Not rednecky at all (YES! I got to use rednecky again!). The Hotel de Glace offers some lovely accommodations and they seem to have a chapel.

It will be up to you to warm yourself up at night while sleeping on a bear-skin on top of blocks of ice. Who doesn't want to stay somewhere where you have to wear a hat at night to keep somewhat warm? Nothing says romantic wedding night like separate sleeping bags (can't make Carl that way).

For $599 Canadian (which I think is like $10,000,000 US), you can have the following as part of the Romance Package:

• A theme suite at the Hôtel de Glace including the Nordic sleeping bag for the night
• A suite with fireplace at Four Points by Sheraton Québec on the same night as your stay at the Hôtel de Glace (luggage, shower, etc.)
• A sparkling ice cider cocktail served in an ice flute
• A gourmet dinner served in the comfort of your suite at Four Points by Sheraton Québec
• A personal valet
• Delicious chocolates await you at the Hôtel de Glace suite after dinner
• Access to the Nordic area's hot tubs and sauna under the stars
• Breakfast at Le Dijon
• Welcome kit
• All gratuities

Does this seem odd that there is so much happening at the Four Points as well? They don't really want you to stay at the Hotel de Glace, do they?

Let's pack up the long johns, break out the fur-lined underwear and leave the sandals at home. We've got a wedding to get to, in Quebec!

Would You Like Fries With That?

Previously I had suggested that B and Corrin get married at McDonald's. It seems so easy and so...rednecky. This is not to say that B or Corrin is rednecky at all. And are we all impressed that I have been able to use the made-up word "rednecky" in three consecutive sentences? We should be!

It seems that a place that I would not consider rednecky (#4 for those counting) has jumped all over my idea and McDonald's is trying to make it fashionable. Hong Kong, one of the most diverse locations in the world, a veritable melting pot of culture has lost all sense of culture. Sorry Hong Kong, I never got to visit before you went downhill. The kids are flocking to the golden arches to start their new lives as husband and wife and trans-fat. Wait, do they use trans-fat? Honestly, the last time I ate anything other than ice cream at a McDonald's was probably in 1999. So the kids are going to their local fast food joint and getting hitched. Look at the fun you can have. You can reenact your favorite "Lady & The Tramp" scene

But insert a french fry for a noodle, like this couple

Cute? And guess what Corrin, searching through magazines and store racks is over for you! McDonald's will take care of your dress as well. Just look at what these lovely ladies are wearing down between the tables and screaming children:

Yup, those are balloon dresses. Probably means you won't be sitting down, but sure makes the honeymoon interesting. And you won't have to wonder what to do with the dress when you are done, just hand it off to some guy on the street to make balloon Transformers. I prefer old-school Optimus Prime:

So now you're thinking "I have a great location. I've got the perfect dress. I've got most of the food covered. What about the cake?" Oh, they've got you covered there too.

A cake made of apple pie boxes. My guess is that there are apple pies in there, but I just can't say for sure. Look, I like apple pie, but really? This seems lazy even for McDonald's.

I understand if you have other plans for the actual wedding location, but you are in luck. They will do engagement parties and anniversaries. Now, if we could only get either Hofbrau

or Jocko's to do the same, we would be in luck.