Another Horrible Photoshop Gone Wrong

We have seen B as Vanilla Ice:

So we needed to create one for Corrin. How about Corrin as Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes from TLC? I think so.

You can thank me later.

199 Days Left *OR* A Wedding To-Do List

We're nearing the home stretch here folks on this wedding and the merciful ending of this blog. Have you ever tried to write a wedding themed blog for over a year all while trying to keep the content fresh? Call me when you figure that one out Mr. Smarty-Pants. I can't imagine anyone will miss the blog, in fact, I may end it much like a Mission: Impossible task where it may self-destruct in a few hours. Once I figure out how to do that, I'll let you know, but you may want to stand back.

Okay young people, before Tom Cruise did Mission: Impossible there was a t.v. show and the messages would self-destruct. This is a picture of said action.

Only 199 days left until we get Radio (my nickname for B and Corrin) hitched and on their way to wedded bliss. And then only 200 days until they realize that wedded bliss is merely a cover story for "discussions" over who is doing the dishes...but I digress.

Any organized couple. ok, let's be honest, any organized bride will have her to-do list. So to help out Corrin, I have come up with her to-do list. This will keep her on schedule and make her life so much easier.

1. Make To-Do List (see, already done, you can cross this bad boy off!)
2. Add to To-Do List (another one down. This is easy.)
3. Review To-Do List (so far, so good)
4. Do To-Do List (hmm, I think we got that one done too. You're welcome).

Okay, that was easier than expected. Gheesh, people think these lists are so difficult. I just knocked that bad boy out in about 30 seconds and now I have time to watch Top Gear. First I think I will enjoy this Beatles song that came up on my iTunes; When I'm Sixty-Four off of their Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album.

This is a great album, a seminal album really. It influenced the Beach Boys to make Pet Sounds, which is another great album. Seriously, the Beatles really raised the bar here. You compare these songs to what they were doing on Meet The Beatles and it doesn't even compare.

Ugh, off topic again eh? Um, okay, you should play this full album at the wedding. It may confuse some, but the older folks and those that appreciate music will enjoy the wedding all the more. So play this album and show this picture of B and all will be good:

Somebody's Due For Prison *OR* How To Have A Memorable Bachelor Party

Greg and I were having dinner and watching Top Gear last night, I know, surprise surprise. Oh, we ate some smoked ribs and potatoes. You know two guys are cooking when nothing green makes it on the plate.

After Top Gear was over (great episode by the way), we continued our months-long conversation about B's upcoming bachelor party. I don't want to give too much away, but B thinks we are headed to Vegas. I hope he is not tied to that idea, because we have some actual other ideas. However, we both agreed that somebody is due for prison. Let me repeat that, because it is important, SOMEBODY IS DUE FOR PRISON. Why, you ask? Why not? We've avoided it as a group for years. You would think that in the nearly 20 years we have known each other that somehow, one of us would have landed in jail, even just a quick hold, with some of the things we have done. I can't go into the specifics because I have no idea what the statute of limitations is in 5 states and a couple of other countries.

Both B and Paul are employed and have a nice little steady income. While Greg and I have "incomes," I wouldn't call it steady (pimpin' ain't easy). What better way to get some free food and lodging than by getting yourself tossed in the slammer? Just ask my friend Lindsay!

B can spend a few nights in the clink and the rest of us can enjoy whatever bachelor party we were going to throw. It is brilliant really and I wish we had thought of it earlier. And think of the stories that B can tell from his time behind bars! Bubba and his friends are waiting to meet you, B.

While we might miss B for about 4 minutes, I think the feeling would pass. I think it would also humble the groom-elect. You know they call marriage a jail sentence, well, now he would really know the meaning. Brilliant as always Mr. Kathol. Another problem solved.

I Got To Use "Yurt" In This Blog *OR* Get Out Of Town

Ok, I've been gone for a few weeks on vacation. Oddly enough, I was up and down the West Coast, much like I suggested that Radio (B and Corrin's couple nickname) do. 2,726 miles and 12 days later, I have decided not to do that again with an 11 month old. It was a good trip overall, but I am exhausted. Isn't it odd how we always need a vacation from our vacations? Do you ever wonder how your parents used to do it? I just chalked it up to parental magic.

This brings us to the topic of today's post, needed a break after the wedding. I don't care much about the bride and groom. I've been there and done that. For those who were around the day after the wedding know that my wife and myself were tired and a bit cranky. Okay, I admit, I was the cranky one.

It is a lot of work to put together and attend your own wedding. It means long days. Not only are you planning the wedding, but you are getting together all those cousins you never thought you had and finding them last-minute places to stay, like my yurt.

 But then you are still putting together your honeymoon and trying to high-tail it as quickly as possible out of town to avoid your new in-laws (ha ha ha....ha.........ha...........ha....................ha?) Now you have to pack for the trip of a lifetime, all while making sure your passport matches your old name because you haven't changed to your new name yet. Phew, I am exhausted just from typing about it all.

Now let's focus on us, the wedding guest. With any sort of destination wedding there comes planning. Sure, you have to bring your wedding get-up. I was thinking about this, they can edit it out in post-production, right? If you look closely here, I think I am wearing ice skates. Don't know why.

Ok, so wedding attire, day before and day after clothes, maybe a wedding gift. You probably want to see my cute kid, so I guess I'll bring him, which brings up a whole new basket of trouble. Camera? Sure. Toilet paper? Multiple uses. Fireworks? Oh yeah. Baseball bat? Maybe, Uncle Ron has been getting a little crazy lately. Breath mints? Gotta, the wife gets all romantic at weddings. Crude jokes? Yup, the are all written down. Condiments? Can't tell you what those are for, but Greg knows.

After all this trouble, I think Radio owes us all a little vacation. I think we, as wedding guests, would all love a trip to Hawaii for a week or two, just to unwind. It is stressful getting ready for this wedding. In fact, the poor sap that writes this blog should have about a month in Hawaii. Make it happen. You know how to reach me and where to send the tickets. I'll be waiting.