Welcome To Truckee, May I Take Your Bags? No, Seriously, I Need Them. We Are Going To Keep You. We're Creepy Like That

Let's visit Truckee, California. The only city in the state with the word "truck" right in it. Sure, Barstow has "bar" and Duarte has, um, it's own charm, but Truckee even ends in double "E", how cool!

For those who aren't quite up on the splendor of Truckee, permit me to enlighten you. Truckee is located here:

Right at the armpit of California. It is only an hour from Stateline, NV (Where all the cool Tahoe kids hang out). Featuring over 15,000 excited residents, Truckee can fulfill all of your wedding dreams. Donner Pass Road runs right through town.

If you have forgotten, the Donners essentially turned cannibalistic and ate the sick and old who died while trying to cross the mountains.

Seriously folks, next time just buckle down and buy some plane tickets. You won't get food on the plane, but you can buy a sandwich or something in the airport. There is no need to eat each other, but remember, if you must eat one another, start at the leg and make sure you grill it. Poached leg is just gross.

Truckee offers you 33 square miles of pure California wilderness as your playground, including the only outlet of Lake Tahoe, the Truckee River. You know that water is going to be cold. This is what Truckee is trying to sell you from their own website:

The truth told in the grand nature of Truckee:
You don't have to wander far off the
beaten path to lose the stress, the worries,
the trials of your world. At some point, they
simply fall by the wayside, unable to follow
as you slip away to discover your adventure.
Surround yourself with everything you’ve
been missing, and then listen closely. You
may hear another truth. A truth about you in
your world, and you in ours.

 What could this possibly mean? "You don't have to wander far off the beaten path?" Does this mean there isn't a beaten path? Am I going to be eaten by Bigfoot? Does Bigfoot grill or poach? They make it sound very solitary. You're only an hour from Reno, the Biggest Little City in the World. Great, I guess. But Truckee is ready for your wedding, they have a webpage for that too. Hopefully the over 200 inches of snow will have melted in time for the wedding. In fact, Truckee is often noted as the coldest spot in the nation.

I don't know what this woman has to do with Truckee, but she came up when I put Truckee into Google image search. I thought we should class this blog up with a sequin dress and a kayak. Did it work?



I was hoping that in writing about Truckee I would get excited that this could be the place, but sadly, there are some negatives here:

• Donner party history, means I could be eaten alive.
• Bigfoot danger
• Coldest place in the nation? I've already got cold hands.
• 200 inches of snow? That's about 198 inches too many.
• The beaten path seems pretty small

Sorry Truckee, maybe we'll see you later...like from the airplane window as we are flying to Chicago.