If The Food Ain't Good, I'm Gunna Cop A 'Tude

We've been to banquets and weddings and other events where we are served the famous chicken covered in a white sauce with a side of steamed vegetables.

Sure, it may fill you up, but in my experience, it backs you up too, if you catch my drift. Of course, you can try the steak, a fairly safe choice. Or you can be adventurous and try the fish. We never quite know what type of fish it is, we just hope there is some real fish in it. Like a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald's you might eat at 2:00am in Las Vegas (Paul, I'm looking at you).

Yet, the wedding goers of today have a more discernible palate. We demand the finer things in life. No longer are we satisfied with corn dogs and mac-n-cheez. We expect four star dining from America's Michelin Star winning chefs. I'm talking about the Eric Riperts

and Masa Takayama's of the world.

Or at least a James Beard award winner who does some cool molecular gastronomy, like Jose Andres.

This is the type of food where they make a foam from tuna and put it on a cracker that tastes like root beer and you get one bite and they charge you $100 for it. Cool stuff!

Doesn't this just whet your appetite?

So here is the menu I would suggest:

First Course
Amuse Bouche of a quail egg yolk prepared by rubbing it in the hand of a vestal virgin and layered on a "lasagna" made of anemone roe with squid ink

Second Course
Mint salad with a medley of spring vegetable and pea puree

Third Course
Roasted lamb marrow served in a toasted almond cookie


Fourth Course
Kangaroo tar-tar with an orange chutney sprinkled with s'more dust

Fifth Course
Sorbet of basil and garlic, topped with a sardine sauce

Sixth Course
Electric eel skin cracklins

Dessert
Wedding cake (we can't stray too far off course, this is a wedding)



Or if this is too ambitious, how about some grilled steak and beans? Yummm.

All while Girl Howdy & The Spurs kick up a good time!

I reckon it's time for a Honkytonk Hullaballoo!