It Is My Turn To Make It Big

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If anyone follows blogs in general and entertainment, you might be aware that many blogs are being turned into books, television series, and movies. Only in America can the ramblings of an angry shut-in who spends all day eating M&Ms and drinking RC Cola get a bigger deal than the $40 a month he was making off his little blog.

Bing Crosby thinks RC Cola tastes best!

What does this mean for Downward Brent Lee? Are we getting picked up by CBS to make a television show like $#*! My Dad Says? No. I can't imagine this would ever become a tv show. Who would play B? I think Ben Savage should play B. Corrin will be played by Danielle Fishel. What can I say? Those kids had chemistry on Boy Meets World, let's bring them back together.

Okay, waaaaay off topic. As mentioned yesterday, Greg thought of a great idea to celebrate the wedding of B and Corrin. How about a Downward Brent Lee book? Yes, you too can recreate the many months of endless blog posting about random topics like Vanilla Ice, Carl, and the World's Largest Rectal Thermometer! This beautiful hardbound book can be yours simply by attending the wedding. At over 200 pages, this will certainly be a page-turner. Page-turner, what a stupid phrase. How else are you going to get through a book other than turning pages? Seriously people. Just like "ice cold." If it was cold as ice, it would be frozen! Think about it.

Back to the book. Let's think of some chapters.

1. The history of B in 4 words or less
2. How to give B crap
3. How to give Paul crap
4. How to give Paul crap about B
5. How Greg & Jave give crap to Paul & B
6. B hit some cows with a firetruck
7. Paul travels, but where is the Shutterfly web album?
8. B gets married- people do the Roger Rabbit
9. Jave tackles a blog
10. All rejoice as B and Corrin get married
11. Where is Carl?

As you can tell, some of these chapters are out of order, but I think I have a good outline going here. Look for the Downward Brent Lee book in your local independent book seller, or Amazon.com.

Thanks as always for stopping by. Click on the links. Tell your friends. Send me cookies.

Here Little Boy, Would You Like Some Candy?

Phew, planning a wedding is tough work. No wonder there are wedding planners like Jennifer Lopez to take the stress off the bride. Hang on...didn't she end up stealing the groom? Ignore the whole "like Jennifer Lopez" bit.

We've put together 21 posts over the past few weeks and boy, are our fingers tired! Hey, I'm here all week, try the veal. On behalf of all of us here at Downward Brent Lee (which, admittedly, does sound like a yoga pose), we want to wish you a happy and safe Halloween. But what would Downward Brent Lee be without some friendly advice to get you through the weekend? We'd be nothing I tell you, NOTHING!

Now, I've dressed as all kinds of things for Halloween. I've been a bum, a hippie, a ninja, a ghost, Woody Woodpecker, a goth (with Greg Kathol), an Assistant Director of Admission, Bing Crosby, and an evil lifeguard. Why do I bring this up? Good question, I'm not quite sure myself.

Right, advice. Okay, be sure you are visible to others if you are going trick-or-treating.

Yes, I think that will. I think people will see you from a mile away dressed like that. Even better, try it at the airport. They're always up for a good laugh. I'll give you a dollar if you try it.

Make sure you don't wear the same thing as everyone else. It is just embarrassing.

You want to ensure that you stay topical. Don't stray too far from the current or the timeless.

Anyone remember Judge Lance Ito? I thought so.

You don't want to be too political and ostracize yourself too quickly. I'm looking at you Joe The Plumber. This could also be a little too far from topical.

Stay current. Sure, there will be Lady Gagas galore and a Snooki here and there. What about Tom Bosley?

Last year the big hit was Billy Mays.

You could try and be scary or humorous or traditional. Whatever you decide, wear it with pride.

After you have hit the mean streets of your suburban neighborhood with pillowcases full of candy, rush right home before it gets too dark and all the spooks come out. There is nothing worse than being out when people are tossing toilet paper into trees or flinging failed chicken spawn (those are eggs folks) at windows.  Nope, come on home and lay your candy out on the table and make sure that there is nothing unsafe in that bag. Candy Apples are a no go. Same with popcorn. Ugh, and those horrible wax teeth. Just toss 'em. And that stupid dentist who handed out the toothbrush? Doesn't he know about the mean kids? Once you have that sorted, get a box and put half of the candy in the box, especially the M&Ms and 3 Musketeers and write my name on the box. That's Justin Voss, just write it right there on top. Ok, now seal it up with some tape and send it to the post office. Don't forget to buy the insurance, we don't want something happening to it.

There, now you have had a safe and sane Halloween and you will be around for the wedding. Turns out that Halloween planning is just as difficult. I think I have found a new career.