How To Make A Quick Buck *OR* Let's Get Them To Pay You For The Wedding

A lot of couples spend a lot of time picking out the perfect cake, perfect flowers, perfect location, perfect food, perfect music, and of course, the perfect spouse for their wedding. They've got it down to colors, smells, ambiance, and even stemware. Some go the Star Jones route and get their entire wedding sponsored by groups showcasing their wares.

I think there is a great opportunity here to make a little money while throwing a kickin' shindig: sponsorship.  Hallmark can sponsor the invitations. When guests of the B & Corrin wedding stay in the Central Coast, they stay at the Embarcadero Inn in Morro Bay. Wedding guests dine at Hofbrau, of course! Wedding patrons only wear Calvin Klein dresses and suits. Transportation is provided by Chevrolet cars and trucks. Flowers have been donated by ProFlowers.com. And so on, and so forth.

Weddings can get expensive, even when trying to cut corners. Heck, one wedding I went to simply gave me directions to the nearest Taco Bell en route to the reception at a quiet street corner where there happened to be a bus bench.

It was a beautiful wedding though.

Heck, if you start now it can be like an episode of Oprah's favorite things. Come to the wedding and find out what you might win. Maybe it will be a trip to Australia, maybe it will be a lifetime supply of Aquafina water, you won't know until you show up.

In other news, we are so close to 1,000 visitors! Crazy. Look for that post once we pass that number. Thanks for reading folks. Or for those that don't read, thanks for looking at pictures.

What Harm Can A Bunch Of 30 Year-Olds Reliving Their High School Days Do *OR* I Hope The Nut Can Make It

In our last post we suggested the idea of the four groomsdudes getting back their old high school cars and taking them on one last roadtrip up the coast. As a recap, Paul will drive his S-10 (which got into an accident), Greg will take the old Buick Century (complete with suspension upgrades), I will take my old Camaro (the Silver Bullet won't let you down) and B will trail in the Kona Nut with all 12 hamster power.

I'll be honest, none of these cars is going to win a Concours d'Elegance or anything, but we loved those cars. I don't think we could count the hours we spent inside them or beside them trying to look cool. The cool part failed, but we had a good time. I have already told one story about the Kona Nut, so I will leave that out. I remember taking the S-10 to various functions because we could all sit in the back. And as Greg will remember, the back of that S-10 is where "Don't Wanna See No Schlong" became a big hit. With the Buick, I recall trying to the hit the very high notes in The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince's "Kiss." If you know me, I have a deep voice and it hurts getting up there. Then there is the Camaro, where to fit in the back, you had to be "flexy in the crotch." Again, we loved these cars and, gosh darnit, we were/are cool.

So the plan is to load up at La Canada High School, home of the Spartans and where all journeys should begin. There will be the obligatory mocking of the other vehicles, which I will win. My Camaro is bitchin' and everyone else should just bow down. And then Paul will want to get down to business and yell something that no one else really understands, but we will assume he means "Let's Ride" and we'll head on out. The 210 to the 134 to the 101 to the 1. Simple as that. Greg and I will race as much as we can while the Lee boys stop at every firestation they see. Paul will get on the CB radios we had installed and regale us with stories about car wrecks. Our first stop would be Morro Bay. Why? 1) Where else do you fly a kite out of a car window? 2) Free lodging. 3) Hofbrau!.

That night, while watching Cops, B will retell the story of him hitting 3 cows with a firetruck.

The next morning B and Paul will be up at 5:30am to walk along the beach while Greg and I sleep in and wait for some room service. Around 9:30 we will load up again after putting gallons of oil in the Kona Nut and the Buick (the Chevys won't have any problems yet, unless I hit a curb). Today we head up the best part of Highway 1 up to Carmel, CA and home of the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance. It is swanky and we fit right in. Carmel being the home of John Steinbeck, some great food, and the Seventeen Mile Drive.

There will have been some hills (advantage S-10), some curves (advantage modified Buick) and some need for speed (advantage Camaro). We'll just make B carry the luggage or something in the Nut. Sure, Greg and I will have made it up there about an hour before the Lee brothers, but we have heavy feet, what can I say?

Of course, the theme song for this entire journey will be the Refreshments "Banditos." Look it up- and I'll meet you at the mission at midnight.

Let's Go Hunting

Hello to Toni, our newest, and by definition, favorite follower.

This isn't the type of hunting I am talking about. Though this would be interesting....

No, I am talking about a good old fashioned scavenger hunt. You know the type, someone makes a list of random things that you have to collect or do and the first one to return with a completed list wins fame and fortune. Think of all of the huge names that have won scavenger hunts that have gone on to become big names in society. You've got Rod Blagojevich, The Bell City Council, Ted Kaczynski, and Oprah. All big scavenger hunt winners.

How can we, as loyal blog readers and future wedding goers keep the momentum rolling until March of 2012? Let's put on our pants, lace up our sneakers, grab the camera from the shelf, make sure we have our ID, take our keys, make sure the house is locked up and do our own scavenger hunt.

I will put together a list of some things that you would need to take pictures of to win this hunt. You need to show me photographic proof that you have completed this list in order to win. The prize will be that I will make sure that I don't sit next to you at the wedding. Lucky!

Here's your list:

• Brent smiling without sunglasses on
• Corrin at age 8.
• B & Corrin holding hands with interlocked fingers
• A beef dip sandwich at Hofbrau
• Santa Claus on the 101
• A 1958 Cadillac (you can choose the model)
• B's niece and nephew playing with play-doh
• A Mexican goat
• B and Paul enjoying a slow dance together
• Greg & Jave flying a kite out of a convertible at 65 mph down Highway 1
• B & Corrin's fridge full of food
• The Kona Nut
• Some guy named Ernesto
• Paul eating Filet-o-Fish between 2:00am and 4:00am
• Art Garfunkel and Jean-Claude Van Damme playing a giant game of chess in Morro Bay
• World's largest rectal thermometer
• B changing a diaper
• A "To-Do" list where the first thing listed is "Create To-Do List"

Good luck out there kids. Remember, your happiness at the wedding depends on your successful completion of this task.

Would You Like Fries With That?

Previously I had suggested that B and Corrin get married at McDonald's. It seems so easy and so...rednecky. This is not to say that B or Corrin is rednecky at all. And are we all impressed that I have been able to use the made-up word "rednecky" in three consecutive sentences? We should be!

It seems that a place that I would not consider rednecky (#4 for those counting) has jumped all over my idea and McDonald's is trying to make it fashionable. Hong Kong, one of the most diverse locations in the world, a veritable melting pot of culture has lost all sense of culture. Sorry Hong Kong, I never got to visit before you went downhill. The kids are flocking to the golden arches to start their new lives as husband and wife and trans-fat. Wait, do they use trans-fat? Honestly, the last time I ate anything other than ice cream at a McDonald's was probably in 1999. So the kids are going to their local fast food joint and getting hitched. Look at the fun you can have. You can reenact your favorite "Lady & The Tramp" scene

But insert a french fry for a noodle, like this couple

Cute? And guess what Corrin, searching through magazines and store racks is over for you! McDonald's will take care of your dress as well. Just look at what these lovely ladies are wearing down between the tables and screaming children:

Yup, those are balloon dresses. Probably means you won't be sitting down, but sure makes the honeymoon interesting. And you won't have to wonder what to do with the dress when you are done, just hand it off to some guy on the street to make balloon Transformers. I prefer old-school Optimus Prime:

So now you're thinking "I have a great location. I've got the perfect dress. I've got most of the food covered. What about the cake?" Oh, they've got you covered there too.

A cake made of apple pie boxes. My guess is that there are apple pies in there, but I just can't say for sure. Look, I like apple pie, but really? This seems lazy even for McDonald's.

I understand if you have other plans for the actual wedding location, but you are in luck. They will do engagement parties and anniversaries. Now, if we could only get either Hofbrau

or Jocko's to do the same, we would be in luck.