What Harm Can A Bunch Of 30 Year-Olds Reliving Their High School Days Do *OR* I Hope The Nut Can Make It

In our last post we suggested the idea of the four groomsdudes getting back their old high school cars and taking them on one last roadtrip up the coast. As a recap, Paul will drive his S-10 (which got into an accident), Greg will take the old Buick Century (complete with suspension upgrades), I will take my old Camaro (the Silver Bullet won't let you down) and B will trail in the Kona Nut with all 12 hamster power.

I'll be honest, none of these cars is going to win a Concours d'Elegance or anything, but we loved those cars. I don't think we could count the hours we spent inside them or beside them trying to look cool. The cool part failed, but we had a good time. I have already told one story about the Kona Nut, so I will leave that out. I remember taking the S-10 to various functions because we could all sit in the back. And as Greg will remember, the back of that S-10 is where "Don't Wanna See No Schlong" became a big hit. With the Buick, I recall trying to the hit the very high notes in The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince's "Kiss." If you know me, I have a deep voice and it hurts getting up there. Then there is the Camaro, where to fit in the back, you had to be "flexy in the crotch." Again, we loved these cars and, gosh darnit, we were/are cool.

So the plan is to load up at La Canada High School, home of the Spartans and where all journeys should begin. There will be the obligatory mocking of the other vehicles, which I will win. My Camaro is bitchin' and everyone else should just bow down. And then Paul will want to get down to business and yell something that no one else really understands, but we will assume he means "Let's Ride" and we'll head on out. The 210 to the 134 to the 101 to the 1. Simple as that. Greg and I will race as much as we can while the Lee boys stop at every firestation they see. Paul will get on the CB radios we had installed and regale us with stories about car wrecks. Our first stop would be Morro Bay. Why? 1) Where else do you fly a kite out of a car window? 2) Free lodging. 3) Hofbrau!.

That night, while watching Cops, B will retell the story of him hitting 3 cows with a firetruck.

The next morning B and Paul will be up at 5:30am to walk along the beach while Greg and I sleep in and wait for some room service. Around 9:30 we will load up again after putting gallons of oil in the Kona Nut and the Buick (the Chevys won't have any problems yet, unless I hit a curb). Today we head up the best part of Highway 1 up to Carmel, CA and home of the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance. It is swanky and we fit right in. Carmel being the home of John Steinbeck, some great food, and the Seventeen Mile Drive.

There will have been some hills (advantage S-10), some curves (advantage modified Buick) and some need for speed (advantage Camaro). We'll just make B carry the luggage or something in the Nut. Sure, Greg and I will have made it up there about an hour before the Lee brothers, but we have heavy feet, what can I say?

Of course, the theme song for this entire journey will be the Refreshments "Banditos." Look it up- and I'll meet you at the mission at midnight.