The Odds Are In Your Favor *OR* You Can Count On It

It has been established that we are joining B in Las Vegas for his bachelor party. I'm sure you have some very distinct images of a bachelor party in Vegas. A little gambling, some drinking, a lot of saying "THIS GUY....THIS GUY HERE.....HE'S MY BEST FRIEND...AND I'LL FIGHT YOU ABOUT IT," maybe a strip club, and something to do with Mike Tyson.

This may or may not hold true for B's party. I guess some of us will just have to wait and see.

What is Vegas without some gambling? Sure, you could be a sucker and hit the tables or bet on the ponies. Me, I think I will bet on my friends. I've only known these guys for 20 years. I can predict their behavior and everything. So here is a list of things that will be happening while we are in Vegas. Granted, most of this could happen if we were in Branson or Duarte.

• Paul will wander off from the group [probably at least once a day].
• B will wake up before 8:00am and immediately want to eat.
• B & Paul will walk the Vegas strip before 8:30am, but not because they stayed up all night.
• Greg and I will sleep in until at least 9:30am. But not because we stayed up all night.
• I will complain about something at least once a day. Most likely the smoke in the Vegas.
• Red meat will be consumed. We will all regret it later that night. Pepcid, Tums, or GasX will be taken.
• B & Paul will turn their head at every siren they hear.
• Greg will examine the little flyers handed out in the street. Not because of what they advertise, but because of the type of paper and printing technique.
• I will flick Paul in the chest.
• B will regale us with stories about where he has taken Corrin. We will tune it out.
• We will all remember the time we went in the gliders and made loop after loop after loop.
• Greg and I will go the Ferrari dealership.
• B will be bringing a grip of singles to Thunder From Down Under and walk away empty handed and embarrassed. 
• We will meet a celebrity chef. I will talk about Top Chef with them.

Now, you can make your own bingo card and play along at home. Maybe I will tweet when these things happen. Feel free to make your own spaces and add your own speculations.

Don't forget, you'll have another opportunity to play bingo at the wedding. Just search this blog for it.

Anything K-Dub Can Do, Radio Can Do Better *OR* Making Something Out Of Nothing

A lot of us married folk have gone into a great depression recently. No, not because the Harry Potter movies are over or that the NBA is locked out (in the off-season, who cares?). No, we're depressed because the wedding of Kate & Will has come and gone. For months we wondered how we could live out our royal dreams by having a dry British wedding. Now we know and we have nothing to look forward to. What makes it even worse is that K-Dub (as I call them on our Skype chats) are busy making the rounds as their job.

Few people cared that I got married 9 years ago. Even fewer people wanted us to come to their town and gallivant. No one wanted me to show up to their skid row dance party or attend their stuffy political soiree.

Like my beard?

How do these people make money? All they do is show up and talk in their fancy British accent. He's losing his hair and she is too good for him (according to the British tabloids I read).

To ease the transition to married life for B and Corrin, I have created an itinerary of places you will go and people you will meet as a married couple. If K-Dub can do it, so can Radio (my nickname for B and Corrin. Let me explain: Their first initials are C. & B. In the 1970's there was a huge fad about CB Radio, where truckers and back wood folk would talk over these radios before cell phones. So, C&B becomes CB, which reminds me of CB Radio, which becomes Radio. Keep up people!).

First Radio will travel to Duarte, CA to re-dedicate this statue. Why? It was the best I could do on short notice, okay?

Next, they will travel to Taos, NM to eat a Navajo taco. Simply to raise their spirits.

After that, it is off to Liberal, KS to bring attention to the International Pancake Day Hall of Fame. This is a place that could use a little attention.

Finally, off to Tampa Bay, FL to swim in the ocean with some disadvantaged kids who can only afford jet-skis and not speed boats.

I know that the presence of Radio will only bring smiles to those they meet. I am still trying to figure out funding, but I think the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation can give us a grant.

Let's Get Fondled By The TSA *OR* Bachelor Party Ideas

One of the major responsibilities that being a groomsdude and blog writer entails is to think of some good idea for the bachelor party. Thankfully for B, I have two other groomsdudes to help me out in planning. Otherwise we would be spending a few nights in beautiful Duarte, heck, Duarte has a Sonic now! Every good bachelor party should have someone on roller skates bringing you some tater-tots.

Now, to throw B some clues, we have been talking about destinations for the bachelor party. Bad news for B though, is you have three married guys who have kids planning your bachelor party. If it were solely up to us, we would just rent four different hotel rooms on the beach and sleep the weekend away and maybe watch some tv. We'll be lucky if we get to eat without having to move plates, silverware, glasses, condiments, and food outside of a four foot radius of someone.

Sure, we could do Vegas, but it seems so played out. B likes it, but where would be the fun for us seeing B get lost in a new city? In fact, he once met me in Chicago and he was afraid to take the L. Whimp.

Mexico is another option, but I hear you can't drink the water. While I pretend that I can speak Spanish, I don't know if it will get us very far.

How about New York? The Big Apple! Lodging is expensive and where would you even begin? Plus, we are planning on a February trip and if you haven't noticed, New York is cold in February.

Miami? Naw, Jersey Shore was there and it is ruined forever.

Chicago? Again, the cold plays in, but they do have the Weber Grill, the best restaurant idea ever! Everything is cooked over charcoal on Weber Grills indoors. Delicious.

Somewhere in Texas? This oddly has some potential, only to see B squirm at the idea of having to go to Texas. Granted, we would go to a cool city like Austin or San Antonio. Sorry Big D (that's Dallas).

Now I like Nashville for some reason. Great BBQ and you simply smell like hickory smoke wherever you go.

Dubai is an option, but only if B is paying. But I think we should stay at the world's best hotel , the Burj Al Arab.

I think we may have to explore this idea a bit more.

In other news, it turns out your favorite Vanilla Ice song is "Play That Funky Music." Interesting taste readers.

Resolutions *OR* Light Promises I Am Going To Break This Week

Big happenings here at Downward Brent Lee in 2011. We are starting to gear up for the wedding of the decade, and I'm not talking about Kate & Will (that's the royal couple), nope, I am talking about our namesake, Brent Lee and his fiance Corrin Clark. It is going to take a lot more planning and luckily this blog is here to make sure that once-in-a-lifetime experience will be unforgettable. And in a big announcement, I get to walk the bride down the aisle and give her away.

What's that?
I don't get to do that?
I can't make that kind of a statement?
I had no right to insert myself that way?
But, look at all the work I've done.
Oh, okay, fine, I'll just sit down.

Our real big announcement is that Downward Brent Lee has gone Twitter-riffic! Check it out to the right, we've now got a Twitter feed. So go ahead and follow us as we muse about all things. We'll even expand our bounds and not talk wedding things (do we really only talk wedding things here?).

I do have one bone to pick with my readers, it seems that the things you promised me for Christmas never arrived. I expected a Chevy Camaro and a trip to Duarte. Here it is, January 3rd and I don't have a new car and I had to drive myself to Duarte the other day. Where is the justice? Santa wouldn't do this to me.

It being the new year, it does seem appropriate that I make some blog-specific resolutions. So here they are:

• Less talk about Carl, one of the triplets that B & Corrin will have.
• Fewer mentions about the original white rapper, Vanilla Ice.
• I won't make fun of B any more.
• No more sarcasm on this blog.
• All the pictures will be appropriate for children.
• I won't try to insert myself in the wedding, more than needed of course.

I think there are a few of those that aren't going to make it. Guess you will just have to tune in to see which ones stay and which ones go. Happy 2011 folks.

Duarte Is Down With Weddings

Last time Greg brought the idea that we should do something in Barstow, the crossroads of....Barstow? Well, I have reached into the way-back machine where trips to Ralphs at 11:00pm meant reading magazines to recall our fascination with Duarte. A bit ironic seeing as how I live next door in Monrovia. I happen to know the mayor of Duarte, so I am sure I can pull some strings to close the streets and make it an official day for B and Corrin. Those of you familiar with where the 210 and 605 meet are no doubt familiar with grandeur of Duarte. In fact, I was just over there today getting some lunch at Senor Fish. What else does Duarte hold for the wedding party? Unlike Barstow, Duarte has some things to offer. For those of us who are last minute shoppers, there is a Target in town. Duarte has a host of classic restaurants, the aforementioned Senor Fish, El Pollo Loco, Carl's Jr, really, the list goes on and on. We can have the wedding at the statue of Mr. Duarte.

And look, conveniently located on Route 66. Greg and I will be taking a roadtrip after the wedding. And could there be a better honeymoon than traveling on Route 66? You could see the car graveyard thing.

Or the World's Longest Map

And what says romance like a night in a giant wigwam?

Duarte can start off your wedding adventure with style and American history. Granted, to drive it you might need a cooler car than the Tahoe. I am thinking something more like this:

Now we are talking. You know what? Skip that, Greg and I are going to take the Caddy. B and Corrin can just take the Tahoe to Irwindale. But I think Duarte will have to play into this somehow. And this way, I don't need to pay for a hotel. Granted, you will. Hmm, you could stay here

Looking good!