We've focused a lot here at Downward Brent Lee on the male perspective, seeing as how B is a male and your crack team of writers here are male as well. In honor of the quickly lessening influence of the metro-sexual male who is in touch with his feminine side, we present to you ideas for the Bachelorette Party. I've got to hand it to you women, you have hidden the rights and passages of this time honored tradition quite well. It is like trying to figure out what the Masons are really doing in there or learning what is in the secret sauce at McDonald's. My assumption from watching MTV Spring Break is that when a group of women get together to celebrate some monumental moment in a woman's life, that there is the need to treat the lady of the hour like a queen and that she is very concerned with "getting her groove on." It also seems that fruity variations of martinis must be consumed and there will be lots of hooting and hollering. In some lesser occasions, cowboy hats will be worn and mechanical bulls will be ridden, but I don't have substantial evidence to back up that claim.
I am also familiar with the desire of the party-goers to try to embarrass the "queen" by making her do some ridiculous stunts and tasks. I get this, I keep betting B a dollar to do various things I know that he will never do. I think I have even once had to lick some candy off a lady. Oh wait, that was in Taiwan, nevermind.
To keep Corrin from being utterly embarrassed or arrested, I have compiled some wonderful ideas for a Bachelorette Party that I think her bridesmaids should consider. These are all approved by the Council For Family Relations and the Organization To Keep An Engaged Couple Making Vows. In no particular order:
- Book club! You can read one of Oprah's books, eat Bon-Bons, and giggle as needed. In bed by 10:30pm and no pesky hangover.
- A little hike and picnic to the ocean. Enjoy some sandwiches and salads. You may play flag football or frisbee. Your choice.
- A lovely dinner at Windows On The Water: Morro Bay's premier dining destination. May I suggest the duck?
- A hilarious game of miniature golf. Splurge and enjoy an Icee.
- Electric boat ride around Morro Bay. See some seals, laugh at the kayakers.
This should get the creative juices flowing for the ladies. Remember, the key is to have a safe, fun time out there and enjoy some quiet "girl time" together. Once B gets in the picture, it will be monster trucks, diesel power, guns, heavy metal music, and steak all the time.
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