DJ, Crank Those Tunes *OR* Trying To Watch A White Man Dance

In this era of multiple dancing shows on television, our expectations of what a good dancer can actually do has risen. Back in my day, all you needed was the Roger Rabbit to make yourself look good (hint: B did the Roger Rabbit a lot). But with Thinking You Can Dance With The Stars On Ice For Which I Live on television, we need to step things up a bit. I've already talked about some of the kickin' dance moves B used to do in middle school, but I think we need to start thinking up an appropriate play-list for the reception so that everyone will get on the floor and try to move more than a bamboo tree in a windstorm.

I do have a few requests, and I think they are fairly simple:

1. Please, do not play "YMCA" by the Village People. I hate spelling and dancing simultaneously. Too much work.
2. Don't play "Celebrate." Too cliche. We get it, you're happy and we're happy for you. But save me.
3. "Banditos" by the Refreshments must be played. If I don't know about pistols, pesos and a midnight rendezvous at the mission, my night is lost.

Don't ruin this wedding for me, just play "Banditos" on an endless loop. You can intervene once for a slow song so our couple can take their first dance.

I've come up with other requests for music and what I would like to see, and, as I think we have already discussed, this is all about me, right?

1. I want to see Paul "turn that butter" to a Guns N' Roses tune of his choice.
2. There will be at least one Vanilla Ice song. "Yo VIP, Let's Kick It!"
3. Spare me the conga line. I always end up with some sweaty dude grabbing at my waist. Ugh.
4. I know Corrin likes country music, and there are some good songs out there. But if it turns into a Taylor Swift concert, I'm outta there. Granted, she is easy on the eyes. So if Taylor Swift does appear in person, I will stay.

1. How do you dance to Taylor Swift anyways? Should I make signs to hold up and profess my love?
2. Two words: Bieber Fever!