Permit me to tell you a story. There was once a young man who had a fade haircut. He thought he was pretty dope in his Vanilla Ice shirt on the first day of junior high school. He had had a girlfriend (or something) during 6th grade (Joanna Myers if memory serves me right). Cool dude, no doubt. I took pity on this guy, mostly because he was standing next to me in the picture line and he was taller than I was. You never know when you might need back-up. In case you couldn't tell, this guy was little B. He had a face for radio and a voice for silent films. 7th grade rolls along and they decide to torture our pubescent hormones and have a school dance. For most of us this means parting the room with a huge invisible divide with the boys as close to the wall as possible and the girls hovering in packs, whispering to each other. Maybe a slow song comes on and we go find a girl and ask, as a friend only, if she wants to dance. Once we heard the Bryan Adams song "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" come on, you found the girl you liked, because the song was about 18 minutes long. So we've got a girl and we've got a song, we now take our place in the middle of the divide and create a space big enough to drive a truck through while my arms are around her hips and her arms are around my neck.
But not our hero B. Nope, he grabs Austin Lee (no relation) and they head out in their fade haircuts and Vanilla Ice shirts and do the Roger Rabbit. The crowd looks on while their lower jaws drop at the sight. I think you could have parked the Goodyear Blimp in my mouth while they tore up the floor.
Is this the type of material we can expect at the wedding? What sucker will be playing the Austin Lee role? Who will be getting the fade haircut? Attend the wedding and find out.
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