Sure, Why Not? *OR* Writing Vows

All the cool kids write their own vows. I'll just put that out there and see if it sticks. Needless to say, but I did not write my own vows. Granted, my church does do things a bit differently, but I don't think that changes things.

As a public service to B, I am going to help him out here and write part of his vows.  So B, pay attention, just copy and paste and you will be golden.

"Corrin, I met you X amount of months ago [insert the number instead of X] and my life changed. Some might say for the better [wait for laughter]. I am a pretty quiet guy and my driving skills may be questionable, but I knew at that time, that I wanted to continue to date you. My friends pushed me along, and to be honest, I was tired of hearing their garbage. Of course, once they found out I had found someone, they gave me endless crap, as they tend to do. [Turn to groomsdudes] Hey you guys, pay attention, I'm talking about you here. Quite giving me crap [wait for unified response of "no"]. [Turn back to Corrin] Corrin, you have done wonders for me. I actually get out of my house and enjoy the company of others. I have known for a long time that you would be my wife and that we start a beautiful life together [wait for collective "ahhh" from bridesmaids]. I am happy that day has finally arrived and that it happens to coincide with St. Patrick's Day. I look pretty dapper in green [snap suspenders].You've expanded my world, I now stay in one more hotel in Vegas than I normally would. So, to the rest of our life and our three triplets en route [turn to crowd] NO! That is not an announcement, just a future goal [turn back to Corrin]. Yes, the triplets, and especially little Carl. I love you and am excited to spend the rest of my life with you as husband and wife. [do Irish jig]."